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If you’re a composer who grew up wanting to write orchestra music, and you listened to Barber rather than Grainger, you probably start with the attitude that you should be writing orchestra music, and band somehow isn’t the goal. So, you marry Orchestra. Orchestra is hot. Okay, maybe not hot, but at least she’s the kind of hot that you know you should like. At the very least, she’s very pretty. And she’s really, really smart, and speaks, like, seven languages, and she knew everybody (but she only ever wants to talk about Beethoven). But you quickly realize that Orchestra thinks she’s better than you, and she acts like every minute she spends with you is come kind of charity work. You get her gifts, and shower her with attention, but you soon realize that she doesn’t appreciate you at all, and she’s neglectful, and at worst, abusive.

And then one day, you meet Band at a party.

“What do you do?” she asks. “Um, I’m a composer,” you reply, expecting little reaction, but Band lights up and exclaims, “oh my God, that’s HOT! Do you have any music I can play? The newer, the better! Let me get you a drink!”

Band is loud. She’s not quite as pretty as Orchestra, and she’s a bit, shall we say, bigger-boned, but she has that truly “hot” aspect to her that Orchestra never had. And most importantly, Band loves what you do. Whereas it was like pulling teeth to get Orchestra to look at your new music (and if she looked, she was generally not impressed, often comparing you unfavorably to one of her many ex’s — like Dvorak), Band thinks it’s awesome. Band tells you things like “you’re special and perfect and I’ll appreciate you and your music like Orchestra never has, and never will.”

What is Composer supposed to do?! Did I mention how loud and boisterous Band is? (Let’s say she’s a screamer. Totally your type.) You have a blast when you’re with her, and your friends agree that she’s a lot cooler than Orchestra, and they see how she treats you much, much better. How can Composer not be expected to stray?

Luckily for Composer, he figured this out around the age of 30, and not much, much later. He just feels bad for all of the other Composers who haven’t yet caught on and left their dysfuncional, abusive relationships.

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From John Mackey’s blog post “Band VS Orchestra” (via augmented-flute)

This post is very sad. Very sad.

milthanks:

i have watched this at least 300 times and have laughed every single time

(Source: obvious-electricity, via doctorderpus)

staff:

Today’s the day. The day you help save the internet from being ruined.

Ready? 

Yes, you are, and we’re ready to help you.

(Long story short: The FCC is about to make a critical decision as to whether or not internet service providers have to treat all traffic equally. If they choose wrong, then the internet where anyone can start a website for any reason at all, the internet that’s been so momentous, funny, weird, and surprising—that internet could cease to exist. Here’s your chance to preserve a beautiful thing.)

Really REALLY important

baelor:

Trans Woman Dares Bible-Quoting Councilman to Stone Her to Death

Ok but do you not know that those laws were under Moses? That applied to Israelites.

(via tyleroakley)

This pic looks so messed up

This pic looks so messed up

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614,267 Plays

princetomatoe:

cashewmonster:

BLUHAHE

abejm

YES VIVIAN PERFECT

obliteratebritannia:

let this sink in guys

obliteratebritannia:

let this sink in guys

(Source: safe-net, via cadecoole)

humansofnewyork:

She initially said “no” when I asked for a photo, but another old woman walked by, and began speaking passionately in Ukrainian. Apparently convinced by the words of the passerby, the woman shrugged, and posed for the picture. After everything was finished, I asked my translator: “What did that other woman say?”"She said: ‘You must not refuse a photo, because you must represent the women of your land. Now go to eternity!’"(Odessa, Ukraine)

Fashion diva. Beautiful.

humansofnewyork:

She initially said “no” when I asked for a photo, but another old woman walked by, and began speaking passionately in Ukrainian. Apparently convinced by the words of the passerby, the woman shrugged, and posed for the picture. After everything was finished, I asked my translator: “What did that other woman say?”
"She said: ‘You must not refuse a photo, because you must represent the women of your land. Now go to eternity!’"

(Odessa, Ukraine)

Fashion diva.

Beautiful.

berlinphil:

Our photographer has a new furry friend…

Unser Fotograf hat einen neuen pelzigen Freund im Hyde Park…

Photos: Markus Weidmann

alt-j:

ppl on this website be like your grades don’t measure your intelligence but whether or not you drink tea and like dr. who does

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